Every emotion has a place in our lives. Our emotions aren’t just some pointless easter egg thrown in our minds to screw with the human experience. Emotions our intentional parts of the human experience that are rooted from our unique physiology. Our emotions make it easier to understand and express ourselves to others. It’s our big red flare gun that signals to us what exactly is going on inside this grand complex machine.
And as such, every emotion has a small roll in painting the big picture of how we feel. Sadness and depression can alert us to bad environments or a lack of purpose. Happiness can remind us that something good is in our lives and we should take note. And anger can warn us that something is threatening us or we feel endangered. But many people think all anger is futile and immature when really you just need to be aware of your anger to better manage it. So in an effort to be more aware, tell me, “When was the last time you lost your temper and about what?”
Here’s a short story on the last time I lost my temper and what it was about.
After spending the last four days showering from a pipe outside, we were all anxious to get to the real villa. People were getting so excited because by Jamaica’s standards the villa was going to be a five star luxury resort. If it wasn’t for the nice pool and beachside views it was for the hot showers and cold ac. We made the best of the living situation the last few days but it was hard sleeping on airbeds at night in the hot air with just a fan. So when we pulled up to the villa we all had an audible sigh of relief.
But for whatever reason all 30+ of us was stuck cramped up on the bus while my mom went in to figure some things out. I was one of two that were able to sneak off the bus since I sat right by the door. After I stretched my legs, I went straight inside with my mom to get a look at the place. It was amazing. There was big open living rooms with oversized tvs and soft luxury couches. The kitchen was expansive and nicely outfitted with granite countertops and updated appliances. And every floor had open balconies in the public area with stellar views of the beach and pool.
But I only quickly glanced at those things, because there was just one main thing I was focused on in my early access tour of the villa… the rooms. I wanted to find the perfect room for me and my friend DeAsia to spend the next few nights in. So I ran from one room with many beds to a room with pool access to a room with a private balcony. They were great. And of course I was the first to step foot in the master bedroom with a grand bed frame, huge walk in closet, and what seemed like the most luxurious bathroom in all of Jamaica. It was perfect! But with 30 other people needing places to sleep I knew it would be highly contested.
So I kept looking until I found the perfect win-win bedroom. It was ducked off in the corner of the second floor. It had a comfy bed, a small but clean bathroom, and it was private. Being that I was one of the first in the house I quickly made claim to it by putting my belongings on the bed and taking a quick shit in the bathroom. A few moments later the hyenas came flooding in. Everyone was running around scrambling looking for a bedroom and place to sleep. I was relaxing on a couch with DeAsia because I already had us covered.
Little did I know we were going to be the ones in the worst situation in a few minutes. Somewhere in the chaos the door to our chosen room got locked from the inside with no one it. It wasn’t a big deal at first. The hosts had to have a key laying around somewhere. As the night went on, we could’t find a key, the hosts weren’t answering and we couldn’t get into the room. Everyone and their mom tried breaking into the lock with hairpins and credit cards. Nothing worked. It got very late and everyone was falling asleep in their comfy beds.
DeAsia and I were exhausted and tired from the long day of swimming and activities. But we were stuck walking around with nowhere to sleep. My neck was uncomfortable and strained from a bad sleep the night before. And now here I was just wanting to rest but rather stuck walking around aimlessly like a zombie. Out of pure frustration I decided I would just go back to the house we slept at the night before. It was about ten minutes up the street. But it was the wee hours in the night when Jamaica gets dangerous in an area that I didn’t know. So I begged my mom and cousins familiar with the area to take me to the other house.
Nobody budged. Everyone was comfortable in their nice bed and cool ac. No matter how much I begged nobody cared to get up and help. I was offered a spot sleeping on another airbed or an uncomfortable couch. And I was getting more and more frustrated until I just snapped! I lost my temper and proclaimed how much I hated Jamaica and this trip. I was in a situation where I was caught in the middle of what I wanted to do and being respectful by following my moms wishes. And I couldn’t help myself because a lot of it was out of my control. That is when things anger me the most.
I was completely over it. If nobody wanted to help me get back to the house safely, I would just have to do it in an unsafe manner. And I hated that’s what I was about to do but I had no choice. Nobody was helping me becuase they were worried about themselves. And I couldn’t sit around being angry at the world. It was risky and I could endanger myself but I had to take my life into my own hands. And being extremely exhausted didn’t help my judgement. But just as soon as I was about to hail a random taxi off the dangerous streets of Jamaica, my cousin got the door open. He climbed up and around through the window to unlock it. And I had the best night’s sleep of my life!
Thanks Alex for being a true ninja.