When should you reveal a secret that you promised you wouldn’t reveal?

We can’t trust just anybody with our secrets. Most people just want something juicy to gossip about. They couldn’t keep your secret even if you paid them a million dollars. So we keep our deepest darkest secrets to ourselves. And we only share them with a few highly trusted friends. The friends that trust us and we trust them. It only makes to sense personal info with people that have also shared personal info with you. Then everybody has the right incentives to stay quiet and keep things in secret. But almost everyone shares secrets they never planned on sharing.

There are certain unsaid rules in the game of life. Many of those rules apply to keeping secrets and what is or isn’t acceptable. We may have different rules we’ve adopted over the years but we all have them. Only you know what will make you spill the beans on the craziest of secrets. We have to keep a clear understanding of what that rule is so we can make the right decisions if we have to. If you know what you will and won’t do then it makes decisions much easier in the future. So take the time to think about how you approach secrets. When should you reveal a secret that you promised you wouldn’t reveal?

Here’s a short story on when you should reveal a secret that you promised you wouldn’t reveal.

I stuffed my hand in the bag and grabbed a couple of fries. I always hated Wendy’s fries but I was really hungry today. So instead of being picky I ate the fries and enjoyed my spicy chicken nuggets. I was eating so much I didn’t even notice the two dudes up front not eating. They decided they would wait to eat their food at the house. I didn’t mind eating now because the basketball game drained all of my energy. But I didn’t want to seem rude so I decided I would just stop eating as well. They started talking about gossip and things happening in our friend group. I hated gossip so I decided to zone out on my phone.

Then my ears perked up when I heard her name. I was kind of cool with Janae so I decided I would take notes at this part. John in the drivers seat started talking about some other guy named Chris. I heard the name Chris before. Then before I could even make the connection, Adam, said that Chris was talking to Janae. And it instantly clicked. Janae and Chris were talking for the longest time now. They had been on and off but never in a full blown relationship. It was weird whenever Janae told me about Chris because I had only heard stories of him. The few times I spent with him were brief and to the point. So I was interested in hearing what John was going to say about Chris.

Then he made Adam promise to never tell anyone. I just kept eating my fries and ignored the whole situation. But it was implied that I wouldn’t tell anyone either. We were all in the car and John said loudly that no one could ever know this. That’s when I knew it was going to be something crazy. John proceeded to tell me and Adam about this story of Chris having sex with another girl. That was so messed up considering that Chris and Janae were talking for months on end now. They were unofficially officially in relationship, at least from Janae’s point of view. She would always hype Chris up and talk about how much she liked him.

I thought to myself how that sucks for Janae but it wasn’t my place to share. It was information that I wasn’t even directly told. And when I did hear it, there was a disclaimer not to share it with anyone else. So there’s wasn’t much I could do in the situation. She would find out on her own given enough time. And honestly, I didn’t know for sure if any of it was actually true. I personally would value knowing it was a possibility but many other people hate facing the truth. I went back to stuffing my face with soggy Wendy’s fries. Then John continues, “… and that’s not the worst part.” I immediately wonder what could possibly be worse than that.

John says that Chris told him that after having unprotected sex he contracted a STD from the girl. And let me tell you, I almost choked on my fries. It was so shocking and so crazy that it couldn’t possibly have been true. I decided there was no way it was true. Later on Adam and I thought back to the conversation I thought John was just bullshitting. And of course John had to know I was close to Janae. So it didn’t make sense that he would share that info unless it was a lie. So I just brushed it off. Then I realized if it was true that Janae could be physically hurt and affected by it. I decided it was only right that Adam and I share the info with Janae. She deserved to know.

So we told her the very next day and it was hard to share. But ultimately we felt that it was the right thing to do. It sucks because it put Janae in a weird situation. But we were concernced about Janae’s health and wellbeing. A simple promise wasn’t worth her getting physically damaged and potentially changing her life for the worse. I value promises and keeping my word to people. If we falter on our word over and over then our word loses it’s value. But I think our health and wellness will always have more value than our word. I would share a secret to save a friends life.

Life or death is bigger than a promise. We can make another promise. Life doesn’t work that way. Love you Janae! 😉

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