We’re taught never to lie as kids. Lying is deceptive and creates horrible habits over time. We shouldn’t lie for any reason whatsoever. If you do it once you’ll end up doing it multiple times. Our parents had to tell us what lying was and why it was bad. And some of us decided to refrain from lying. We felt we were being good people when we chose to tell the truth and nothing but the truth all the time. Our parents were so proud of us when we told them we ate candy for lunch rather than lie. We were proud of ourselves for not lying because we knew nobody likes a liar.
At least that’s we thought. Eventually that whole ideal gets shattered when we start getting older. We go to high school and see our friends cheat and lie on tests and get rewarded with higher grades. We see our parents call in to work and lie about being sick so we can go on a one week vacation instead of just four days. It starts hitting us slowly but surely over time. Lies aren’t this thing that’s horrible and despised by everyone. Lies were something that was a part of being human and the whole world ran on lies. We had to relearn what it meant to lie and decieve someone. That’s when you realized there were white lies and black lies. One was much more acceptable than the other. But you have to keep your self honest about when and why you lie. So what white lies do you often tell?
Here’s a short story on what white lies I often tell.
Let’s be clear. I hate lies. I hate when people lie to me. I hate being the one lying to others. It doesn’t matter if you tell me a white lie, a black lie, or a gray lie. Every lie is still a lie in my book. They’re all deceptive in nature and leave people at a disadvantage. Everyone deserves to know the truth to the best of their knowledge. It helps us all make informed and intelligent decisions. When we lie, we rob people of the opportunity to make informed decisions. And part of me hates white lies more than black lies. If you’re going to lie do it for some big grand scheme trying to save yourself from life in jail or something. But telling lies every day because we don’t want to hurt or offend someone is so trivial. We can all deal with the truth.
I don’t say all this to say that I don’t lie. I’ve lied before in life many times sadly. It’s probably much less than most people you know. I’d much rather prefer to be blunt and forward with people than be deceptive. Nine times out of ten, I’ll choose silence or to omit the truth rather than lie. It’s a fine line but I find it to be much less toxic. You can know the truth and choose to leave it out. But to share disinformation is just manipulative. Let people find the truth out themselves. We don’t have to blab and shoot ourselves in the foot. It’s called the right to remain silent. And many of us should opt into that right in our everyday lives. Instead we’re just throwing out lies left and right.
I try my best not to throw out white lies all the time. It hurts the person. It hurts me. And it hurts everyone else that spreads that same lie. I spent about twenty minutes trying to think of what white lies I tell and came up with nothing. I’m not saying I never lie. I’m just so far away from that habit that it’s easier to think of my funniest moments in middle school than white lies. So I can’t come up with a story this time. It’s sad but it’s just hard to come up with stories about lies when I rarely do it. So instead I’ll stick to my thoughts on the question. I’ll tell you my general thoughts about lies and what I usually white lie about in life.
Most times I tell a white lie, is when it’s over something subjective. When we’re talking about how attractive someone is, there’s no right answer. So when someone asks me if they look good today, technically there’s no wrong answer. The only part that makes it a lie is when I include my personal judgment on the situation. If I believe you look horrible, it’s a white lie telling you that you look great. And somehow I find myself telling these types of white lies all the time. When someone asks a question and they don’t want to hear the truth, I know they just want to hear a certain answer. Sure your food tasted good. Sure you are a great rapper. I wish more people valued the truth over their feelings.
Another white lie that I’ve been telling a lot lately is ones that are a formality. There are certain lies that are expected to be told in life. They are a part of the process of social norms and expectations. I often choose not to say I missed all my family when I see them at Thanksgiving. But everyone expects it whether it’s true or not. In business, there’s so many things that deal with white lies. Sometimes you have to critique team members using white lies as not to hurt their feelings. No you didn’t lose us ten thousand dollars in monthly revenue, but try to be better next time. And of course dealing with customers I often tell white lies. THe most popular is the we don’t give out refunds white lie. Some parents know we very well have issued refunds in the right situation.
Ultimately there’s millions of different situations to tell a white lie. If it’s up to the world we’ll be in a constant cycle of telling lies big and small. And eventually the lies will get so big and outrageous that our whole life will be a lie. I don’t want that reality. I want a life built on truth and honesty. I want friends and people around me that value honesty. I shouldn’t have to worry about if my friends think I’m annoying or selfish. If I ask, I’d hope they’d share the truth. That’s the understanding I have with anyone close to me. Screw white lies. Screw black lies. Screw all lies. The truth will always prevail. Honesty and transparency are undervalued.
But don’t worry the truth will always reveal itself. 😉