Everbody’s normal in some way. Of all the organisms and types of life in the universe, us humans have a pretty straight-forward blueprint. We walk on two legs, speak with our mouth, and cry from our tear ducts. So when you think of yourself and compare it to the billions of other people on Earth, you’re not too different. If at least one of those things are true for you, you’re pretty normal by human standards. At the same time you’re very different. We’re all unique in a vast amount of ways. I’m naturally introverted and overthink things all the time. I like the color teal and aqua blue. One of my all time favorite movies right now is Moana.
If you ask a random selection of people these three questions, it’s highly unlikely you’ll get the same three answers. Every individual person on earth has a unique biological and physiological make-up. We act, think, eat, live, and feel in very different ways. But there’s a fine line between being unique and being weird. Some people may think they’re different for putting ranch on their hotdogs but the truth is that’s just plain weird. And of course the word weird is very subjective in nature. But you know when you’re being weird from when you’re being unique. And we’re all weird in some type of way. So what makes you weird?
Here’s a short story on what makes me weird.
I slowly lifted my head up from my makeshift bed on the hard cold desk. I tried to keep my facial expression blank as I glanced around at all my eleventh grade peers still working on their test. Many of them looked confused and desperate almost like a deer stuck in headlights. As much as I wanted to lean over and whisper an answer or two I knew it wasn’t the right thing to do. And it was always weird when me and my other tenth grade peer had to help all the eleventh graders when we were the ones who were in advanced placement. So for the sake of not getting kicked out of class and not embarrassing the older students, I just sat put.
It felt like a whole hour since I’d turned in my math test so there couldn’t have been much time left. And just as I flicked up my wrist to check the time, the sharp sound of the school bell rang bringing everyone to attention. As I watched most of the eleventh graders Christmas treeing their scantron I heard the halls flood with chatter of hundreds of unruly kids. I slowly grabbed my bad and walked out the classroom. And from the moment my foot stepped in the hall I went from naturally confident to instantly anxious. It was lunch time. We were only a few weeks into classes so I still didn’t have any friends. It made me nervous going to lunch and finding people to sit with.
It was like that weird feeling you get when the teacher says, “Partner up!” and you don’t have any friends in the class. The only difference was it was like half of the entire school partnering up and I still didn’t have a single person to buddy up with. I cringe just thinking about it. The weeks before I got lucky because the math teacher asked me to help her grade assignments and stuff. She’d let me and my tenth grade friend Beja come and hang out there during lunch. And before you say, “You could of sat with Beja at lunch!”, remember one thing. This was tenth grade. I wouldn’t dare sit at a table full of girls by myself. So the only option I had was to go and help out my math teacher during lunch and avoid all the crippling social anxiety.
But I knew today wasn’t going to be one of those days. My teacher’s schedule was changed and she had actual classes to teach during my lunch period now. So there was no way I’d be able to skip lunch this time. Every blue-gray locker I passed made me more anxious than the last. As I got closer and closer to the lunchroom my mind started to ramble. I started thinking of all my potential friends and tables to sit at. We were getting closer. I started thinking of other classes I could hang out in or even empty areas of the school. We approached the big nasty double doors. Then I thought of just calling my mom and telling her I was sick. And at the very last second my INTJ boldness and cool temperament calmed my down. It was just lunch.
As I step foot through the double doors, I started scanning the tables back and forth, hyperventilating, and immediately turned back around. I couldn’t do it. They would have to drag me in there with their own two hands to get me to go to lunch. I was walking. I didn’t know where I was going and I didn’t know what I was doing. I had one goal. Don’t go to lunch. I would walk the school halls endlessly in circles if that was necessary. But after two minutes of walking down random halls I found myself at the school’s front lobby. An adminstrator walked up to me and asked, “Are you lost?” I guess I was the deer in headlights this time. I quickly said no. Then he asked, “Oh you’re leaving because you got checked out!” I desperately nodded my head yes and walked right out the front doors of the school.
I started hyperventilating again. I’m literally leaving the school. I didn’t sign up for this. I was way out of my element. But it was no lunch period at all cost so I calmed down and started brainstorming. “What’s the next best move?” “Where should I go?” Then like a sharp alarm bell ringing in your ear it hit me. My sister told me there was a library up the street from the highschool. I’d never been but I remember her pointing it out on the way to school before. So I started walking down this major road in the direction away from school. I could feel all the weird looks coming from the cars driving by. They were all wondering who let this psycho kid out of school early. Eventually I made it to the library. I walked in and had the best lunch period of my life. I ended up leaving the school during lunch for the rest of school year.
All thanks to you Kacey, I stepped in Tucker’s lunchroom a total of three times ever! You’re the best sis. 🙂