Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs boils down the average human experience into a perfect triangle chart. Many people may be wary of colorful science or philosophy charts in this day and age. But there’s a lot of value in this simple chart. It details what we all need down in core to survive and thrive as humans. The most obvious needs are food, water, and shelter. If we can’t get food, and water we won’t survive more than a couple days. But after those basic universal needs the very next level says we need security. And that’s one of those things that many people skim over but don’t put much thought into it. The truth is security is very important to our wellbeing and mental health. Nobody wants to live in constant terror. It’s a very primal instinct to protect yourself and the people you care about no matter what. Wild animals, domesticated pets, and humans alike need to feel secure.
Security doesn’t mean a ten foot electric fence around your home. Security can be much simpler than that. Some people just need to know they have somewhere to go home to. Other people need to know that they have people to depend on that love them. And yes, for some people security means sleeping with a loaded gun under their pillow. But we all desire to feel safe and secure in life. We need to feel that our lives and wellbeing isn’t always being threatened by outside forces. (Or even inside forces.) And of course, someone could still break into your electric gated home and rob you for everything you have. We can’t always guarantee true security. But at least with the feeling of being secure, we can sleep well at night. You just have to know what makes you feel secure and keep it around. So what makes you feel secure?
Here’s my thoughts on what makes me feel secure.
I’m someone that often feels very secure. I’m often very well in my comfort zone and confident in life. It’s something that I’ve developed over the years. And it’s not because I’m just some person that has it all at my fingertips. Instead it’s because of the way I’ve learned to look at the world. I’ve been through a lot of crazy tribulations in my life, like we all have been. But instead of fold and breakdown under pressure, I evolved and have become a much stronger person because of it. I know it all sounds a little too good to be true. But it’s true. Rather than you just take my word for it, I’ll explain a little of how I see the world. And hopefully you’ll see how important my view on life is to my confidence. It makes me feel confident, optimistic, and secure all at the same time. And that’s an awesome feeling. A feeling that I wish everyone could experience in life.
The main thing that makes me feel secure in life is my unnatural obsession with the future. I have always been someone that’s more future focused over present and past. I just find so much more value in thinking about the future and where things can go. I hate and despise the past. I know there’s so much value in the past and the things we can learn from it. But I’ve seen many people look to the past for answers and forever get stuck there. The past is good to learn from but it’s a waste when you choose to live there. There’s nothing for you in the past. The present is much more acceptable in my eyes. The present is where everything gets done in the world. You can’t get any new tasks done in the past. And you sure is hell can’t fly into the future to get things done. If you want something done, the truth is you will always have to do it today.
And that’s a great thing. The present is of great importance because it creates the future. But my mind is always focused on the future because it’s an inevitable truth. The future always comes. Tomorrow is always a day away. And I know we can’t predict the future. But we can surely create it. And that’s why I’m so future focused in life. I focus all my time and energy dreaming up a new and exciting future. That then gives me the blueprint of what I need to do today. Now instead of letting life happen to me. I’m getting up and creating the life and future that I want to see. That’s such a beautiful thing. We can all create a better future for not just ourselves, but all our loved ones. It’s important to take initiative and be a part of the people creating the future. It might seem like a lost cause but someone somewhere is creating your future right now.
And I hate the idea of someone creating my future for me. So I’ll be the first person to jump up and create a future that I’ll be proud of one day. The question now is, “What does all of this have to do with feeling secure?” And that’s a simple answer. I’ve been through some tough things in my life. I’ve been stuck in hospital rooms for months at a time clinging on to my dear life. I’ve been in excruciating pain in the middle of nowhere with nobody to help me. And I’ve been in the deepest and darkest depressions where I wanted to end it all. And those moments are some of the most difficult things people can go through. We all have those moments of true challenge and tribulation. And we all deal with them differently.
But one thing is for sure, when you have intense pain shooting through your whole body, you feel completely vulnerable. It makes you feel like you’re not human. You’re not normal. You’re not worthy. Being sick and close to death has broken my spirit on multiple occasions. It has been something that has clawed at my confidence and security ever since I was a child. You just can’t feel secure in a world that looks bleek and pointless. And I know that there are many depressed or sick people feeling the same exact way right now. You can’t feel secure when you’re down on your last leg with no finish in sight. You can’t feel secure when it seems like the world is out to take you down. And in those moments, I realized what kept me feeling secure. It was the simple point of knowing that nothing lasts forever.
Ever since I was a kid my mom told me, “This too shall pass.” And the phrase has stuck in my head ever since. I now know that I could be at the lowest point ever in my life. But that just means tomorrow could be better. The future is certain. I just have to be patient enough to see it through. No amount of pain or difficulty will take away what I know is true. This too shall pass. I just have to be strong enough to endure and push through. And that’s what makes me feel secure. When I’m in those low moments I think of what tomorrow could hold. Things can get better. And honestly, it’s almost guaranteed that things will get better. Some of us feel insecure where we are in life right now. That’s fair. Nobody’s life is perfect. But all we need is hope and the patience to see things through. The future makes me feel secure because I’ve seen the dark to light many times. Now I don’t fear any darkness. Because this too shall pass.
Thanks for teaching me how to feel secure, Mom. I just know the good will pass eventually too 🙁 .