Love is a great wonder of the world. Nobody knows exactly what love is. Nobody has seen love with their own two eyes. And nobody has touched love with their hands. But love is still very real. When we feel love we know it. That’s the only way we get to know love better. We feel love or a lack of it. The more we get to know love, the better we get at identifying it and the better we get at giving love. The only thing with love is that we’re initially really bad at giving and receiving it.
As teens we fall in love with any and everything we come in contact with. We don’t know the true value that love holds. As young adults we think we’re better at finding love and making sure it is special. Many times we still fault in our love and find ourselves back at square one. It’s only with decades of wisdom that we get the skills to find the true love we’ve always wanted. Half of the secret is not finding your perfect love, but rather just being better at making love last. But only you can change to make your love last longer. So what makes love last?
Here’s a short story on what makes love last.
I jumped out the shower, brushed my teeth, and put on a fresh outfit. It was weird getting ready to not even leave the building. But I felt it was courteous to freshen up before hanging around people in close situations like this. I text my then girlfriend goodnight and I headed out the room. As I was walking out, Dwayne was walking up to my dorm. We dapped each other up, laughed, and headed on our way. Walking down the hall he was giving me a refresher on where he met this girl and who her friend was. I was laughing because I knew that there was high chance my awkwardness would mess this whole thing up.
As we knocked on her dorm room door, we got serious and went into full smooth guy mode. We all introduced ourselves and shared some backstory of how we knew each other. None of it mattered in my mind though. It was two guys hanging out with two guys late at night. It wasn’t a love story. We ended up on the girl’s bed watching some scary movie. I was right by her friend, C, and we were sharing covers together. It was prime opportunity to mess everything up but instead I smoothly put my hand on her thigh under the covers. It was nothing special.
One thing led to another and the two groups decided to split up for awhile. C wanted to show me something in her adjoining dorm room and who knew what Dwayne and his girl had planned. I walked into her room and was impressed by the cleanliness and creative art on the walls. We started talking about the art and how she made most of the pieces herself. It was a pretty bland conversation. But smooth Tim wasn’t fazed at all. She kept telling me how sore her back and neck was from walking the campus to classes. I told her I was great at giving massages.
She smiled and gave me a teasing look. I told her I’d give her a massage if her back was really feeling that sore. Two minutes later she was on her bed with her shirt pulled up, laid face down on her stomach. I got on top and started casually rubbing her back. She was enjoying it. But I turned it up a notch by telling her I needed her whole shirt off. With her entire top half naked, I slowly started massaging her neck as my mouth was just barely breathing on her neck. You could hear slight moans of enjoyment from C as the massage was getting good.
And rather than taking it to the next level by rubbing her chest or kissing her neck, I awkwardly made up an excuse to leave. Without much warning, I jumped down and told her I had to go immediately. I left and went back to my dorm. I found a way to fuck it all up after all. My girlfriend at the time gave me permission to have sexual relations with other girls. Mostly because it was my first year at college and I was not seeing her often. But I respected my girlfriend too much so I choked in the moment of action. And the very next morning when I called my girlfriend, I told her everything that happened that night and how it almost got out of hand.
It was tough for her to hear. But I felt great being transparent and keeping her informed of everything. The thing that makes love last is not one thing but two. Honesty and Respect. Those are the two things that will make any love last. You must respect your partner to the point that it shows in your actions. It was in that way that I chose not to have sex with C out of respect for my girlfriend. And you must be honest with your partner to the point that they never have to act, think, or feel in darkness. It was in that way that I chose to be transparent with my girlfriend and tell her everything that happened the night before.
No matter the situation, all our love ever needs is honesty and respect. 😉