The primary way we learn in life is through making mistakes. We live our life to the best of our abilities and hope that we do everything perfectly. But life isn’t that straightforward. We’re bound to make a mistake at some point in life. And we often make multiple life changing mistakes. Those are often the times that we learn the most. We have to acknowledge the consequences of our mistakes and be willing to make the changes needed to be better in the future. No decision or mistake is gone unnoticed. We live and we learn. And we learn more.
So we shouldn’t feel bad for the decisions we make that are wrong. We can learn from mistakes so mistakes add value to our lives. But sometimes the decisions we make affect us more than we expect. The decision to break your lover’s trust affects him and all your future relationships. The decision to steal from your employer affects your job and all future job opportunities. It’s hard to see how impactful our decisions are until they are made. So many times we end up regretting some decisions we make in life. You have to identify the decisions and things you regret and keep them top of mind. You can be better in the future if you make decisions you don’t regret. So what is your biggest regret?
Here’s my thoughts on my biggest regret in life.
I don’t believe in regrets. It goes against everything that I believe. Everyone in life makes mistakes. We can always be better, but only in the future. I don’t hope and wish for the things that are impossible or out of my control. The past is set in stone. The future is open to change. I prefer to focus my energy on the future and what I can accomplish over the next few years. This doesn’t mean that I don’t feel bad about things I’ve done in the past. I know there are things that I’ve done that just plain suck. We’ve all done things like that. It’s a part of life. But that’s the thing right there. Mistakes are a part of life.
I don’t hate the person that made the mistakes in the past. I have learned to accept that person and the decisions they have made because that’s all I can do. Nobody can take us back in time to change the events of the past. So you can either hate and dwell or just learn to accept everything that has happened. Dwelling on the past will only be wasting your energy. The same energy that you could be using to be happier in the present. And that energy you use in the present can be used to make you much more successful in the future. It’s your choice though. Spend your energy where it matters or waste it regretting things in the past.
And that’s just the realistic version of the answer. Regret in my eyes is truly disapproving of something in the past to the point that you would change it given the opportunity. We can’t change the past. That’s one reason that I don’t have regrets. But even if someone had a time-machine that would let me magically change all my past mistakes, I still wouldn’t use it. I don’t have regrets because I truly don’t have any desire to change the decisions and choices I’ve made in the past. It’s an unfair advantage to the game of life. This game wasn’t designed to have redo’s and respawns. We were meant to play the game of life with one playthrough.
If you make a mistake, you learn from it and evolve as the levels go on. If you somehow made the wrong choice that got your head blown off, it would be game over. And that’s okay. We win some, we lose some. My dad always said, “Come on now baby… You can’t win all the time.” I will always remember that phrase because it’s completely true. You can go back and change your mistakes a million times and you’ll still end up losing at some point. You can’t win all the time. Failure is a part of the human experience. I don’t deserve a perfect playthrough anymore than the next person. We are built to fail and make mistakes.
So I put my faith and confidence in myself. I believe in my intelligence and decision-making skills. In any given situation I have confidence that my decisions will have sound reasoning behind them. And when they don’t have sound reasoning. I just have to accept it. Living with no regrets also incentives me to be more thoughtful about my decisions up front. I put more emphasis on making the right decision today not doing whatever feels right and regretting it years later. So no matter which way you put it, I’m not living with regrets. I hope I’ll never have to bite my words on this. But I’m okay with taking responsibility with all my actions past, present, and future.
All that being said, there are things that I could possibly regret in life. One thing is going to college because society said it was right. I could regret going to college as freshman and being in a relationship. I could regret trusting people in business and giving them the benefit of the doubt. I could regret ever getting into a relationship when I didn’t think I was meant to be in one. There’s a lot to possibly regret in this life. But all those things would just be wasting mental space that I need to get up each day and put my mark on the world. So I don’t regret anything. There’s no big or small regret. Regrets are a waste of mental energy. And I stand by that.
So like they say, live your life on the edge because it’s “No Regrats!” lol