What have you lost interest in recently?

When we’re kids our attention is always fleeting. We jump from from one thing we love to another in the matter of weeks. It’s so bad that sometimes we related the attention span of a kid to that of a goldfish. But things haven’t been getting much better for the older generations. Young adults to seniors are all getting a little more fickle about the things they spend their energy on. We’ve become so used to being entertained all the time that we don’t even know what it’s like to really be bored. But that’s not all. We have been much more selective about the things that we actually care to take part in. It’s no wonder that we lose interest in things much quicker in this day and age. It’s almost impossible to get someone’s true undivided attention.

If you take someone out to dinner, nine times out of ten they’ll be scrolling through instagram. If you go out on a date to a concert, nine times out ten they’ll be recording the whole event. If you go for a roadtrip with the family, nine times out of ten they’ll all be playing the Candy Crush game. Point of the matter is that it takes a lot to keep us interested these days. And because of that, we often lose interest in things over the weeks, months, and years. Some things we needed to drop because they were no good for our lives. While other things were something that was doing more good than bad. You just have to pick and choose which things you want to stay disinterested in and which ones are worth taking a second look at. So what have you lost interest in recently?

Here’s my thoughts on what I’ve lost interest in recently.

There’s two things that I’ve lost interest in recently. I mean I’ve probably lost interest in a lot of things over the last year. In general, I’m the type of person that’s not interested in too many things to begin with. But at the same time, I’m not hard pressed to let things go out of my life. I think it’s important to pick and choose carefully what you want to spend time on in your life. On the same note, I think it’s just as important to be clear about the things you don’t want to have in your life. They are two sides of the same coin. We only have twenty four hours in a day. That goes for every single being living on this Earth. So we genuinely have to be very selective of how we spend it. I’ve seen too many people waste their life away not doing nothing, but rather doing too many things. It’s okay to lose interest every now and again. Sometimes it’s for the best.

The first thing I’ve lost interest in recently in my life is video games. I’ve always been a big gamer. There’s something about playing games and competing against others that brings out the high achiever in me. If I get beat in a videogame that I know I can be good at, it just makes me want to get better. The feeling is amplified even more when I realize that all my friends are playing that game and they are pretty dang good at it. I remember the first time I played a gamebattle match with my friends on Call of Duty. It was a long time ago but I was pretty much brand new to the game. When me and my younger brother played my friend and his older brother we were completely lost. We didn’t know what equipment to use or how anything in the game really worked. They absolutely demolished us and they followed it up with a bunch of smacktalk! It was at that very moment that they messed up.

The months and years that followed were completely different. I played the game every weekend. I played it every day after school. And some days I would watch videos of other people play it while I was in school. I became the best of the best. None of my friends dare challenge me to a one versus one. I was the dominant player in Call of Duty and spent way too much time perfecting every little move. I seriously could of went pro if I really wanted to. But with the last Call of Duty: Modern Warfare that was released I didn’t know what was going on. I got the game, loaded it up, and started playing. I could barely get ten kills while I average over thirty in the last one. I felt like a fish out of water. I practiced and practiced and nothing changed. I realized that they changed a million and one things about this game that messed up the feel. Now I’m completely losing interest in Call of Duty and most games in general.

Plus I have a lot of big dreams that require a lot of big actions from me. So all the time I’ve spent playing videogames over the years has been a real opportunity cost. I know that I could spend my time doing things that are much more productive. Another thing that I’ve been really interested in the last five years, was love. As a kid growing up I cursed love. Who on Earth needs another person to be whole? Who on Earth wants to spend twenty four seven around somebody else? That sounded like a fool’s dream. I wanted to grow up and be as single as could be. I like girls but I didn’t want to get attached to one by the hip. Somehow at the end of my senior year in highschool, I ended up in a relationship. That relationship took me deep into the secrets of love. And let’s just say I fell really really hard.

You know the person that ignores where he’s walking because he could never imagine tripping, then that person trips over his shoelace and smacks face first into the concrete? I was that person. I fell in love and I changed my entire mindset on relationships. I started putting that relationship above everything else in my life. I wanted my relationship to be the bestest relationship of all time. Majority of my life decisions would take that relationship into consideration before anything else. And then one year mid-November that relationship came to a screeching halt. Everything we put our time and energy into was thrown into our faces. And the last three plus years were a complete waste of time. After that experience I started to question a lot of things about life, love, and purpose. I realized that love was important but I gave it more importance than it needed.

Now I’m here a few years later and see how toxic love can be. Love is a beautiful thing but it can be more destructive than meets the eye. Now I’ve reached a point where I don’t want to fall into the same traps. Maybe the younger me knew what I was truly destined for. Now I’m focused on spending time working on the things that are truly important to me. I don’t want love anymore. I don’t desire love anymore. The only love I’m looking for is self-love. If I need anything more to be whole then I’m doing something wrong. That’s my philosophy. I’ve lost almost all my interest in this fantasy love story that society pushes down everyone’s throat. I know it might be a real sadistic way of looking at things. But I’ve tried going down the love path. Now it’s time to do things my way!

FuckboiTim is in full effect 2020!

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