You’re the average the five people you spend the most time with. That’s one of those sayings you hear once and you never forget. No matter how far you go in life, this quote holds a lot of value. Everyone spends time with others throughout their life. And those people are influencing you in one way or another. Most times we’re influenced in multiple ways by the people we spend time with. That could be the difference between hanging with billionaires and becoming a millionaire one day. It could be the difference between hanging out with drug dealers and eventually getting locked up for selling drugs. We don’t usually think of people in this manner but it’s something we should think about. Our company can be a determining factor of who we become.
For most people, we spend most of our time with friends. Friends are pretty much our second family. They are the family members that we actually get to choose. And that often leads to a very strong bond between friends. We don’t have to be friends with anyone, so the friends we are almost always people we genuinely do care about. And when that’s not the case, it’s time to cut people off. Many people just let toxic friends exist in their life for years and years. And it’s often because we don’t want to be negative or confrontational. But we could avoid those problems all together if we just chose better friends to begin with. Instead of having a bunch of subpar friends we should take the time to find friends that are high-quality. If you’re deliberate about the friends you choose, you take control of who you’re influenced by. So what are the top three qualities you look for in a friend?
Here’s my thoughts on what the top three qualities are that I look for in a friend.
It’s pretty tough to pick just three different qualities but I’m up to the challenge. The first quality I want from all my friends is without a doubt honesty. Honesty is something that is fleeting in this day and age. People find more and more ways to lie about the silliest of things. It starts with something small like saying you’re one inch taller than you are. Then it ends up being huge crazy lies like finding out you’ve been dating a whole “catfish”. Who on Earth lies about their entire identity while trying to date someone. That’s insane. But the world has come to a point where it’s so much easier to lie than be honest. All it takes is one lie on a social media bio or a fake Tinder profile. I understand that people will lie. That’s how the world works. You can’t just trust any and everyone you meet. But I don’t have the mental energy to deal with that with my friends.
If you’re friends with me then we should have a mutual respect for each other. And that means giving each other the courtesy of honesty at all times. I know it’s impossible. And I know white lies will be told. But in my heart, the closer we can be to always being honest, the better our relationship will be. It’s even more paramount because of how much we value our friends. We often give them an all access pass into our lives. I don’t want to feel like I can’t trust someone that I’m being open and vulnerable with. It’s a horrible feeling. And it often leads to unnecessary conflict in your friendship. I value friends that are candid and can be honest with me. And when the stakes are high and the conversation is tough, it’s even more important to be honest. Because those are the moments that most will choose to lie. At the very least, I want my friends to choose silence over lying to me.
It seems like a simple and straightforward ask but it’s something can rarely be found. It’s sad when you really think about it. People are just accustomed to lying at the blink of an eye. And maybe that point alone is why I have a very select amount of friends. The second thing that I look for in my friends is the ability to be genuine. This one goes hand in hand with the honesty point. It’s one thing to tell a bold face lie to someone. It’s a whole different thing when you are always being something that you’re not. It hurts my spirit to think of the millions of people that hide behind masks everyday. Nobody should feel like they have to portray something that they’re not. And still there are millions of people that do this everyday. Some people get up and go to work and pretend to be interested and knowledgable in their rok. Other people show up to birthday parties and weddings of people they hate.
That’s a horrible way to live. We are all special. We all add value to this world. You should always feel comfortable being yourself in this world. And I don’t want to be friends with people that hide their true colors. If you’re always changing who you are and what you believe, that means you will be anything and believe anything. Those are the people that are your friends today but will become a snake tomorrow. It’s the reality of many people’s friendships. We have to be careful who we get close to. Someone that is constantly hiding behind something is most likely ugly at their core. I want friends that can be their genuine selves around me and anyone else. I don’t want to be trying to figure who you are at your core, just to be shocked or betrayed. I want to be friends with the real you. The person you are when nobody’s looking.
If you can’t be genuine, then we can’t be friends. And that’s something I feel strongly about. I’ve seen some of the most goodwilled people turn into toxic characters. I don’t want that in my life. And nobody needs that in their life. So be genuine. The last thing that I look for in a friend is pretty simple. I look for friends that have passion. This one sounds like a freebie because everyone has passion. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. There are many people out there that have no real feelings toward anything. These are the people that don’t have a vision for their life. These are the people that don’t acknowledge their wants or desires. These are the people that simply let life happen. Those people are missing out on life.
Life is such a colorful, vivacious experience at times. We just have to take the time to learn and be inspired by the beauty it holds. And within that beauty we can become captivated by a many of different things. You could fall in love with cars. You could be excited to start and raise a family. Or you could be focused on building a prosperous business and legacy. There’s too many amazing and interesting things in life for you to care about nothing. Passion is something that drives us to live our life to the fullest. And we all need to have passion in our life. It’s something I look for in all my friends. I want to see what makes the smile, laugh, and cry. What makes you jump out of bed in the morning? Passion will. But a life without passion is a dull and colorless one. If your friends don’t have passion, you might very well lose your spark as well. I need friends that are honest, genuine, and passionate.
Are you my next best friend? Oh wait, we’re already friends 🙂 .