To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?

Life is filled with lots of twists and turns. It can be stressful dealing with all of the unexpectedness sometimes. But at the same time the novelty is part of what makes life exciting. We can’t predict every little thing that will happen for every second of our life. That would be dreadfully boring to say the least.

At the same time, there is some amount of predictability in life. We have control over a lot of different aspects of our lives. And of course we’re not in complete control. But it’s fair to say we control some amount of our life. Therefore the course our life takes can be attributed to us in some capacity. The question how much of your current life would you attribute to your control?

Here’s how much I’ve controlled my life and my thoughts on it.

When I look around, I’m nowhere near where I want to be in life. The place I stay is not where I would choose to live forever. The way I spend my twenty four hours, is not the way I hope to spend twenty four hours. The games I play, the food I eat, and the status of my health is all not ideal.

But on the other hand, when I look around I see things that I don’t mind. I’m okay with the place I’m living. It’s my mom’s house. I don’t mind the way I’m spending my time. I write, eat, sleep, work, and game. I’m not complaining about a lot of things around me. So how much is my control.

I could say nothing. None of it. I didn’t directly choose to be in much if any of the current situation I’m in. How could I be in control of any of these things that I didn’t go out of my way to get. There are some things I did choose and aim for. Entrepreneurship was something I actually made decisions to bring to life. Getting into a relationship was something I initiated. So I had some control. But what about everything else?

I was in control of almost all of that too. I know you’re thinking, “But how Tim? You just said you didn’t choose all those other things.” You’re right. But there’s more to choice than meets the eye. Not making a choice can sometimes be a decision in and of itself. So the very lack of choosing was my decision. I was in control.

Think about it like this. I could decide not to choose or choose to live somewhere I wanted. My choice was not to choose. So I can’t complain with where I ended up. Because of this thinking, I believe my life has been almost all in my control. All but the things that I just can’t control. And there’s a lot.

I couldn’t control being born with Sickle Cell Disease. I couldn’t control being born African American or even being born in the U.S. I’m not complaining about those things either. But without a doubt, they weren’t in my control.

Ultimately, I would attribute about ninety percent control to myself for my entire life. And even if it’s not the case, I love thinking that way. It helps spend more energy trying to change and improve things in my life. Never letting life just happen to me. And most importantly, being responsible for my decisions and focusing on things I can control.

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