Is it better to have loved and lost or to have never loved at all?

Love is a universal language. It doesn’t matter our history or differences, we all easily understand it. We might not be able to perfectly define love with words. But we all know what it is when we feel it. That warm fuzzy feeling where you feel a deeper than normal connection with someone isn’t by chance. We yearn for that feeling because it’s unlike any other feeling on earth. And some people spend their whole lives in search of true love.

And most of us will search for years to find love ourselves. It’s just that special or else would we work that hard to find it. It’s always worth the sacrifice to love and be loved. But we don’t exactly know that. Love can end in lots of pain and heartbreak. It’s not always rainbows and butterflys when it comes to love. So we have to personally decide. Is it better to have loved and lost or to have never loved at all?

Here’s my thoughts on loving to lose versus not loving at all.

Love is one of the most powerful forces in life. I’m the last person to know anything about love. My whole life growing up I was the kid that never wanted to get married or start a family. There’s no such thing as true love and we should all just fend for ourselves. That was the old Tim. But through the experience of being loved by a young naive girl, I have grown tremendously. Just being around someone full of love, I was moved to be a more loving and open person myself.

I’m no expert of the ins and outs of love. But I feel much more comfortable speaking about my thoughts on why love is or isn’t worth the potential pain. And the pain that comes from lost love is one of a kind. Love is a potent and universal force of nature. But the heartbreak that comes from it is just as deep and powerful. As a teen I was blinded by young love and thought it would be a perfect, peaceful ride. Eventually, I felt that stabbing and irreversible pain in heart.

I feel for anyone that has lost someone or something they truly loved. It hurts on a whole different level. And the first time is the worst. It feels like your heart is literally crumbling in your chest. I sometimes get speechless and tear up just thinking about those times and how sad it was. But I grew a lot from my first true love. I learned so much about how to love. And truthfully, I learned even more from the heartbreak that followed after it.

So there’s an upside to the love and the pain that comes with it. But it’s still very hard to say whether loving is worth the pain or it’s better to just not love at all. Imagine all the pain and depression that could be avoided by not loving at all. You won’t get your heart shattered at any point if you choose not to give it someone else. You wouldn’t even have to risk the rejection of putting yourself out there. You’d have peace of mind focusing on other ambitions and projects in life. Love would be a non-factor. But with friends and family in the equation is it even possible to avoid love completely?

Who knows if it’s even possible to completely avoid love but either way I don’t think I’d advise it. I’d tell someone it’s better to love and lose. It’s not because people don’t deserve to avoid grief and sadness. It’s not because it’s impossible not to love. It’s simply because loss is a guarantee. We forget that our time on this earth is limited. Everything we have is for rent. Our entire lives and everything around us is temporary.

That being said, we still go out and venture into new projects and ideas. We still try buying the nicest house we can find. We still try to build an amazing career for ourselves. I’m still trying to build a wildly successful company to impact the world. Loss hasn’t deterred us from anything else in life. So why should loss deter us from a life full of love and emotional growth. There’s so many positives to a healthy love life. It’s a one of kind, special experience for humans. Don’t waste the opportunity. Love and lose and do it all over again.

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