What would life be if everything was always handed to us. The destination is only as memorable as the journey it took to get there. Life is filled with people that will help you progress on your journey. And there are many things that will give you a boost forward when you think of quitting. But in life there is also people and things that will drag you backwards. Our enemies are the things and people that want to see us fail. And while we might not all have people that truly want to see our failure, we all have enemies in life. You might not know that people are wishing for your downfall. And you might not know the things that will slow you down when you come across them. But whether you know it or not, there are enemies in your life that will always be trying to bring you one step closer to failure.
We often think of these enemies as people that hate us. You might think your highschool chemistry teacher that always failed you is one of your enemies. You might think your ex-girlfriend that broke your heart is one of your enemies. You might think that the guy who always makes fun of you is one of your enemies. And those people may be your enemies. You may never know. Only the individual knows what their true intentions are behind closed doors. So it’s kind of pointlesss to focus on those people that might be wishing bad on you. Because there will always be a much bigger enemy in your life. There is an enemy that we all have in our lives but one that we can actually control. It’s ourselves. You have to be cognizant of how you shoot yourself in the foot before you focus on your other enemies. So in what way are you your own worst enemy?
Here’s my thoughts on the way that I am my own worst enemy.
There are many different things that suck about being me. I’m such a great person with so much potential in every little corner. But I am so far off from being perfect in any capacity. I know this about myself and acknowledge it everyday. When I see some of the things that I slack on, I get a wake up check on how much I suck. When I see the way I handle certain situations and they blow up in my face, I get reminded that I suck. And when I rethink the decisions I made in the past that I should of know were going to be at my own detriment, it’s a nudge that I need to get better. And I spend a lot of time trying to get better. That’s one of my greatest passions in life. I enjoy the pursuit of progress and perfection. But of all the things that suck about me, there are only a handful that I would say are truly detrimental.
Just because we suck sometimes doesn’t mean that we’re being our own worst enemy. On the other hand, we’ve all been our own worst enemy at times. One of the ways I’m my own worst enemy is my procrastination. I hate when I waste time that I know is precious down to the second. But I’ve always been a procrastinator. Ever since I was a kid, I would take my sweet time to get anything done that I didn’t really feel like doing. It wasn’t that I couldn’t do things and I wasn’t great at them. It was actually quite the opposite. When my teacher would assign a new project, I would have ten different ideas on unique ways I could approach by the end of the night. But just because I was brainstorming didn’t mean I would put it into action. Instead it was more thinking than doing going on. I would eventually start the project the night before it was due.
I know a lot of kids would start projects the night before it was due. But there was just something about my procrastination that I felt was different. I was really smart and so much creativity flowing through me. I was someone that loved academics and learning new things. And when I was interested in something I would engulf myself in it and work on it for hours on end. But there was something about being assigned work that felt irrelevant that turned me off. I knew I could spend all month going above and beyond to wow my whole class. But I would think to myself, “What’s the point?”. I didn’t need the public recognition. My parents didn’t need to be reminded of how intelligent and witty I was. They got that reminder every day at the dinner table.
I didn’t want to be popular or praised for being smart. I was smart. I didn’t need the approval of others. And so I often would think about all the great things I could do for an assignment. But within the very same thought, I would think of all the reasons why I could care less. I didn’t really care about all the grades, and hype. I was a chronic procrastinator. I could convince myself to not do almost anything. And that really held me back from accomplishing a lot more accolades growing up. On the other hand, there were times that I did go above and beyond on my work. When you assign me a project of inventing a new product from scractch, you’ve peaked the aspiring inventor within me. Within a week, I had a logo, description, slogan, and working prototype that my whole family was using. I couldn’t stop working on that project.
That’s how I was. I was an all or nothing kid. If I didn’t care, well it was little to no investment. If it was something that truly piqued my interest, I was going to put my all into it. The problem was those really intriguing subjects and projects were few and far between in my school career. So there was a lot more time spent being disinterested and slightly annoyed rather than passionate and interested. And all those traits just carried over to me in the real world. Now here I am as an adult that loves to go to work on something I’m truly passionate about everyday. It’s exciting taking a simple idea and trying to turn it into a real life business. There’s all these exciting challenges to face almost on a weekly basis. And every decision I make is a decision that matters. But on the same note, there’s so many random menial tasks that need to be done on a daily basis. And those tasks as trivial as they seem, make a big impact on the success of the business.
So years later my procrastination is still affecting me. When it’s time to design a course for a new subject I’m up and ready to roll at five in the morning. I would do that every day if I had to. But then I get a call from a customer that needs help logging in to an account, and I spend half an hour explaining each button to click. Then I start searching for new team members to hire which energizes me all over again. But not too long later, there’s a technical problem with the site and I have to spend the rest of my day digging in code looking for bugs. It’s not fun. So I end up procrastinating it. And I end up leaving the problem for weeks and months before getting to it. And by the time I fix it, a handful of customers have already left because the bug interfered with their user experience. That’s why my mind overthinking and procrastinating is how I’m my own worst enemy.
But I’m still grateful for all the great things my mind does for me everyday, along with the bad. Every superhero needs to have an Achille’s heel.