I’ll love you until the end of time. That’s what we like to tell our loved ones. My love for you will last forever and ever. That’s just me confessing my love to you. Yes, you. But on a serious note, it’s really easy to say the word forever. It’s just the largest amount of a time a person could ever fathom. We all like to think of how amazing it would be if everything we enjoyed lasted until the end of time. It’s our way of saying something is larger than life because nobody truly understands forever. A million or billion dollars is hard to put into scale but forever trumps those things by an infinite amount.
In our ideal worlds everything will go on forever and ever. It’s nice to think of on the surface. But too much of anything can be bad for us in this world. That means too much time as well. Then again nobody can factually make a statement that living forever would be bad. So it will come down to you and how you see the world. Is the life you live worth living forever? Is the value you get from existing and experiencing the world worth it until the end of time? We all have different life paths and experiences. Nobody can answer this question for you better than you can. So if you could live forever, would you want to? Why?
Here’s a short story on why I would or wouldn’t want to live forever if I was given the chance.
I remember it like it was yesterday. It was my birthday weekend and my friends surprised me with an intimate birthday party. Okay side note, I listen to music while I write everyday. And I kid you not, as I’m writing this the song from Bazzi called “Live Forever” comes on. So all I hear in the background right now is, “Do you really want to live forever!?” It’s a crazy coincidence because it wasn’t planned at all. Go listen to it. Okay back to the story. I enjoyed the party even though I hate parties. But I had to force myself to enjoy the party. Something in my spirit just wanted to stay in bed all day.
And that wasn’t the worst part. First thing in the morning DeAsia brought me to the airport for a surprise birthday trip. It was so sweet of her but in my soul I felt uneasy. I had to remind myself to stay grateful and open-minded. We went down to Florida near the coast. We visited the beach and ate dinner dockside of the ocean. It was beautiful. And I just did my best to smile and look happy. Then the next morning we caught a shuttle to a undisclosed destination. I was getting anxious. Things were starting to get more and more unpredicatable. And I wasn’t really up for all the surprises. But the grateful Tim took control and just went along.
I knew how hurt DeAsia would be if I told her I wanted to go home. It would break her heart a million times over. She had been planning this surpise all year long. She was a hundred times more excited than I was so I could only imagine what it was. Then the shuttle started pulling up to a ship loading building. I looked out on the water and noticed multiple cruise ships on the side of the water. Then it hit me. We were going on a cruise! I was so shocked. Well as shocked as I could pretend to be. I was putting two and two together from the moment we landed in a coastal Florida city. But still it was a pleasant surprise.
As we started giving our bags to the bag helpers I was trying to hide my smile. I was excited because this was my first ever cruise. My best friend Dwayne told me how much fun he’d had on cruises before. This was something I’d always thought of doing but never thought I’d be doing so soon. I literally had no idea what to expect. So I was observing everything from the halls, the signs, and the people boarding as well. They handed us glasses of champagne as we approached the boarding desk. We weren’t even checked in yet. I was actually feeling happy for once.
I was glad that I didn’t have to fake it anymore. The sad was gone and it was replaced with genuine joy. I was glad to be doing this. I was glad to be doing it with her. And I wanted to make the most of the trip. We walked up the ramp through the glass hall approaching the ship. This was the moment everyone was waiting for. We were going to officially board the cruise. We walked in holding hands and eager to see the ship. As I stepped foot into the grand hall, I looked around and saw the spectacular ship, hundreds of happy guests, and what looked like a place of pure paradise.
I immediately bursted out in tears while dropping my head into my hands. I wasn’t happy. I was sad. And I didn’t deserve to be happy. It didn’t matter how much happiness and joy everyone around me was experiencing. I didn’t belong. I needed to be locked in my room and balled over in a corner. DeAsia knew immediately. I was broken and something in me wasn’t right. I was grateful but not in the right mindset to enjoy the trip. It was sad to lose my composure in fron of not just her, but everyone. Imagine seeing someone walk onto a floating paradise and break down in tears. It sucked. We still made the best of the trip.
But ultimately, life is about your mentality. You have to keep yourself happy. And there’s no amount of physical things that can make you happy or sad forever. Too much of either is bad for you. Pleasure and pain are meant to be experienced in balance. Too much pleasure and nothing will please you. Too much pain and you lose your purpose. And because of that living forever would be torture. We can never be forever happy. We can never be forever sad. It’s always a rollercoaster of emotions with ups and downs. I would never want to live forever. We all deserve an end because all great things come to an end.
Plus there’s an infinite amount of possibilities in life, but if you lived forever you’ll eventually have seen it all. 😉