We’d all like to believe that we don’t care what others think. We tell ourselves we act without any thought as to what others feel. But even if you happen to be that one in a million person that could just care less nine times out of ten, you have to admit sometimes you care. There’s that one out of ten times that you just want to make a good impression on the boss. Or that first time meeting her parents and you want to come across charismatic. Sometimes it’s just your own parents that you want to represent well and make proud. We all think and act sometimes, like we know people are judging us. And honestly speaking, most times they are.
Once upon a time, I was an avid believer that being emotional was a bad thing. As a young teen I always struggled with my emotions. It was a big deal to me. I didn’t think I was over-emotional or had too many emotions. But rather, I felt like I had no emotions whatsoever. I felt a little distant, like I never felt enough emotions. Some days I would even find myself casually feeling an emotion but at the absolute wrong times. Imagine being the creepy guy in the back, smirking and laughing at your great grandmother’s funeral.
Exactly… It’s unacceptable.
A year ago today would be January 10th, 2018. And as I sit and think of all the things that have happened to me in a year’s time it’s hard to zero in on one solid thing. One single skill I learned, that a year before I couldn’t do. One single experience I had, that a year before I wouldn’t try. One single decision I made, that a year before I wouldn’t have ventured.