Life is such a fragile thing. At any moment, it can disappear from our hands. We often get caught up in the day to day of our lives. We’re always on the go trying to figure out the next move. We have to get to work done. We have to find time to relax. We have to explore new things. We have to make lasting relationships. And we have to do it everyday with just twenty four hours. Life is always on go. But while we’re running nonstop experiencing life, we often forget how fragile it can really be. None of our lives our forever. We have a beginning. And we have an end. But in the now, it’s hard to fathom an end.
That’s one fatal flaw of humans. We’re great at analyzing the past. We love to be present in the moment. And we dream big for the future. But rarely do we take the time to think of how it all ends. And it will all end. Sometimes it takes something tragic happening like losing a relative, for us to remember how temporary our lives are. And other times it takes our own life to truly be in danger of a close call for us to understand that we’re all mortal. We’ve all had near-death experiences where we feared for our lives. It’s good to remember what decisions were made that jeopardized your life. So what is the closest you have ever come to fearing for your life?
Here’s a short story on what is the closest I’ve ever come to fearing for my life.
I’ve shared this story many times this year. Not because I want to shove it down people’s throats. But rather, this story has been one of the most impactful moments of my life. And I don’t give that title out loosely. I went through hell and back and I learned so much about life on my journey. I wouldn’t wish these things on my worst enemies. Life has a way of kicking us down to our knees to see if we really have the willpower to stand back up. And I don’t know if I got all the way back up. But I know that I was kicked down on my knees with nothing left in me. I was dragged to the darkest corners of my life. And I almost died there. But I took notes. This is the story.
The year started out like any other year. It was the beginning of a new year and I was focused on growth. I wanted to grow my business to new heights and get to a level of true success. Dwayne and I had big plans this year. There was so many great things that I wanted to accomplish. I wanted to get fit by going to the gym everyday. I was going to spend a month or two trying new diets that would help me stay healthy. Dwayne and I wanted to launch into a new section for our business. We wanted to get a thousand new customers and make tens of thousands of dollars. It was all planned out to the tee. It was going to be a very prosperous year for us. Nothing was going to get in the way of that.
Then we started traveling for business. We drove to Florida for an expo and sold our butts off. Then we drove home. We got back on the road headed to Myrtle Beach for another expo. We sold as much as we could. We drove back home. We flew to another state for an expo. And so and so forth. It was a lot of work. We were going to so many expos it was unbelievable. We had little to no time to breathe. All we could do is sell, fly, drive, sleep, eat, and do it all over again. And during that time we were challenging ourselves to only eat meat, vegetables, and fruit. I was really eager to try the Paleo/No Carbs diet. It was difficult but we made it work with a lot of salmon and broccoli from Olive Garden.
Then I got home one week and got sick in pain. I was running myself ragged. I spent those four days trying to recover and feel better. I got out the hospital just in time for the next expo. I hopped on a plane to Texas and we started selling again. Then we split up and went to expos by ourselves in two different states. I went to Colombus, Ohio and on the very first day I got really sick. I was in a horrible pain crisis. There was nobody to help me out in Ohio. So I had to buy a last minute ticket back home the same day. It sucked. And then the sickness got worse and worse. I ended being in and out of the hospital all year long since the expo season started. I thought I was going to recover but it just got worse and worse.
The next thing you know all the pressure was on Dwayne to finish up the expo tour all alone. He ended up getting sick and hospitalized as well. In some weird freak experience we ended up sick in the same exact hospitals. It wasn’t fun at all. I ended up in the hospital pretty much every single month from there on out for weeks at a time. It was a horrible experience. All this time I was trying to stay positive. But I was losing my mind and all my confidence. I felt like absolute dirt. It felt like I would just keel over and die at any moment. I had never experienced a year so bad in my life. And through this all we were trying to manage a million and one things in our business. We were launching new subjects, building new playforms, and dealing with tons of customer support issues.
It was hectic. Then one night in the hospital all my friends and family showed up around me. They were all looking at me with a sad expression. It was like they knew I was about to go. I was confused. Then I heard someone saying, “Not yet Tim. You’re mom is on her way. Just hold on. She’s on her way. Not yet Tim.” I remember trying my best not to close my eyes. As my mom was walking in my eyes slowly faded shut and everything went to black. Then I woke up in my actual hospital bed in a panic. I was in the hospital dreaming that I just died in the very hospital bed. It shook me up. I felt it. That year, I almost lost my life. I truly felt in fear of losing my life in 2018. And I will never forget that moment.
I’m forever grateful for my friends, family, nurses, doctors, and you for helping me push through. Thank you.